We have lived at our house in Bellefontaine now for almost seven years. And wow have those seven years seen a lot of life happen. When we bought this house back in 2012 it was a dream come true. Nick and I were living separate at that time due to work after selling our home in Columbus. I was just ready to live with my husband again and ready to have our own place to call home. We had looked at what seemed like a million houses and put in offers on several of them. Time after time, something wouldn’t work out. We would get out bid. Paperwork wouldn’t go through. One house even got hit by a huge storm and had a giant tree fall on it - talk about God shutting a door by smashing all the windows. I sat at a stop sign feeling defeated and crying out to God. “God, you said you would give me the desires of my heart. And well, if I’m being honest (looking around at my surrounding and seeing this gorgeous 3 story farmhouse), I’d ABSOLUTELY LOVE a house like that one.” And I kid you not, that next week a For Sale sign was in the yard and we were in contract even though they had several cash offers on the table. You see, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined we could own a house like the one we are in. It had everything we could have ever wanted - character, history, land. But God doesn’t stop at my wildest dreams, His dreams are even wilder than mine. He’s not confined to the box I so often put Him in. All these houses that fell through, they were just not what God had ahead for us. Yes, it was uncomfortable and super inconvenient for a time. But God was there, in the waiting and the wanting. I’m pretty sure that’s where He wants us to be at all times. With your back up against the wall and the only thing that is in front of you is the future He’s waiting for you to step into. And He’s right in front of your face cheering you on to seize this opportunity. Because what we think we want and what we have “planned” for our lives is most likely not even on His radar.
Then sometimes when He gives you the desires of your heart it’s only for a season.
I remember getting the call. I had an 8 month old baby and twin 2 year olds. It was in the middle of my busy season and I was juggling all the things. At this point my nerves were shot. I was having anxiety attacks and to be quite honest, living with PTSD from my husband’s seizures/brain tumor. One afternoon Nick called from work to let me know that he would be needing to find new employment. His position was being eliminated.
I was blindsided once again and I found myself questioning. God if you are so good… then why? Don’t we deserve a break? But this wasn’t the first time I had asked Him these types of questions. I asked him when we were on the house hunt the first time. And I asked him again when we were going through 7 years of infertility. And again when we experienced two miscarriages. When Nick had a seizure in the back yard. When they found a mass in his brain. And here I was again, always with the questioning. You would think I would have learned by now. Learned that yes, all of that has happened to us but hasn’t He ALWAYS come through? Hasn’t He ALWAYS provided and redeemed what the Devil tried to destroy? And if he provided the house, the kids, the clean bill of health and the strength and endurance to travel all those roads then would He not do the same now? Why is it so easy for me to jump into anxiety and the need for control instead of simply rest in His peace and provision.
Nick was able to find a new job and not only any job, one he really enjoys. He comes home much more fulfilled and has a sense of purpose. What I thought was a round of bad news, God turned it into good. Nick’s new job is an hour away. Because of that as well as some other things, we’ve decided it’s time to move.
Honestly, I’d love to say that I have peace about it but the truth is I’m still working on that. I’m still in the process but even when I do have peace - it still won’t be easy. To move from the house I said I would live in forever. The house I brought my babies home to and the backyard my sister got married in. Move from the tree we planted when we lost Oliver. This is like my big trust fall with God. We have know idea where we are going or what house we will live in but if the past is any indication, God’s already got it handled.
We have become a part of the story of this house and geez, does this house have stories. I find marbles whenever I dig in the landscaping from the little boy who grew up here almost 100 years ago. The fireplace was the backdrop to a wedding in the early 1900’s. The remnants of cattle fencing line the property where large barns used to be. We are just a chapter and I know we lived it well. I’ll remember my girls climbing ladders to eat mulberries from branches. Falling asleep in the back of the trailer while Nick mowed the 6 acre property. Dancing under the stars with my newly married sister. Building the chicken coop from scratch (or would it be for scratch?). Eating pizza in the empty living room the very first night as the sun set and the house went dark because it was without electric. Many a party was thrown and we even hosted our first family Thanksgiving. The way the beveled glass windows shoot rainbows across the room in the afternoon sun and the maple tree turns crimson in the fall. These walls have heard some tears but they’ve heard much more laughter. I know you’re thinking - gosh, Marie Kondo that house already. And I may or may have ;) But more than that, I’ve thanked God for giving us this house for a season.
We may be selling our house but we’re taking our home with us.